


holy frick (except he didn’t say frick)

by cheetoskittle



Category: The LEGO Movie (2014)
Genre: But he is, detective emmet, dragon hunter emmet, not swearing, twin emmet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 11:23:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18622351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheetoskittle/pseuds/cheetoskittle
Summary: You can’t just swear in front of the KIDS!(Says a professional detective. A dragon hunter can do ANYTHING.)





	holy frick (except he didn’t say frick)

“You can’t just... do that.” Dragon said.

Waffles looked at his older, more dragon-hunty alternate.

”Why?”

”Because if you do that, everyone’s gonna die.” Dragon replied.

”But Dusty said I could open the cage!” Waffles said.

”In this house, Dusty’s word is worth as much as whatever the hell steamy water is worth.” Dragon said. “Spending nine years under a dryer does wonders to your mental health.”

”What’s wrong with Dusty?” Waffles asked. The kid always had questions for his alternates.

”He spent nine years in the living equivalent of hell.”

”Oh.” Waffles said.

Dragon sighed. “Look kid, I’m not one to rag on another version of me. But if Dusty said you could do something, then you probably shouldn’t do it. And in this case, I don’t care if Neon himself said to do it. Don’t open the cage.”

”But I wanna-“

”DO NOT OPEN THAT CAGE IF YOU WANNA LIVE PAST TEN!” Dragon shouted.

Waffles stared at him.

”Crap.” Dragon said to himself. “Uh, I’m sorry kid- I didn’t mean to yell at ya-“

Waffles started to cry.

”Oh holy frickin frick.” Dragon said. Except he didn’t say frick. “Kid- Don’t cry... really, the guys are gonna-“

”DRAGON!”

Dragon looked up to see Fuzzball, standing at the doorway, looking pretty angry.

”Why is Waffles crying?!” Fuzzball asked, practically demanding an answer. Fuzzball was basically the unofficial leader and/or father of the family, and he  never took no for an answer.

”I didn’t mean to-“

”Didn’t mean to do what?!” Fuzzball yelled. Waffles started to cry even louder.

“...didn’t mean to scream at Waffles.”

”WHY WOULD YOU SCREAM AT WAFFLES?!”

Dragon sighed. “Because he was gonna open the cage! You know there’s some pretty dangerous stuff in there!”

”He wouldn’t have tried to open it if you listened to me and put it in the basement, away from Waffles’s floor.” Fuzzball said. “But nooooooo, you had to have your dragons, and this is the consequence! Waffles is CRYING!”

 

”Can you not yell in my face and make Waffles cry more?!”

 

”No.”

 

Dragon sighed.

 

He hated this.

 

(But he loved it. Even if he wasn’t allowed to say curse words  in front of the twins.)


End file.
